hi. i dont know how to put this really. but i still care about my ex even though i'm engaged and well, frankly, so is he. i feel as if i didnt get any closure with him when he broke up with me. he was my best friend, and we havent talked since we broke up, but i dont want to seem disrespectful and just ask him about it. i'm in love with my fiancée, dont get me wrong. but theres still apart of me that needs closure with my ex. i've been really debating with myself to just forget about the whole situation, its been nagging at me though. idk what to do? help??
Asketh - Anonymous
If this was me in your situation, I wouldn’t go backwards. Purely because I believe that if it’s meant to be then it will happen so I don’t see the point on dwelling on something that’s not happened.
An engagement isn’t just about being in love, it’s also a vow for the future. You really need to think if finding out about the past is going to benefit the future at all.
Something’s obviously effected you from your previous relationship. Was it a bad relationship or did it end in a bad way? Going back just because it was bad probably wouldn’t benefit you very much but there definitely is nothing wrong talking about why it actually ended, as long as it didn’t make you stray away from your engagement.
I see no harm in talking about the past in a general conversation with your ex, but you have so much to look forward to and you have an engagement to enjoy and your whole life ahead of you.
If you feel that getting closure will actually help you carry on in the future better, then you should talk to your ex. It wouldn’t be disrespectful if you were just honest and didn’t come across as clingy or like you’re not over him. Just a general conversation about what happened or any questions you had, it might make him gain some respect for you for being so honest?
You don’t need to talk to him to get closure over the relationship or how it ended. Sometimes a nice long bath and a good think about everything from start to finish will give you your own closure.
I’m really sorry if this didn’t help at all, I hope you get the closure you need and take care x
