i had sex with my friend's new boyfriend before he was her boyfriend, he used me and was playing me and another girl at the same time, now my friend goes out with him and she's said she's lucky to have him because he's told her he's a virgin i don't know how to tell her without her losing respect for me or thinking i am lying to her, she knew i liked him way before they started going out but i told her i went off him so im scared that if i tell her the truth she will think im jealous of her going out with him
Asketh - Anonymous
Firstly, you NEED to find someone who you can talk to about this. Someone who you can confide in and you trust won’t judge you. This is so much for just one person to be thinking about and to be dealing with and if you don’t find a way of letting it of your chest to someone, it will trouble you for ages and it will only get worst.
You have to tell your friend. Do you want her to be used the same way you were? You have probably kept this all inside for so long that your fears have made you exaggerate what she’ll think. You don’t need to go up to her and insult her boyfriend, but you need to talk just privately and warn her. Make sure you mention that you’re not trying to control her choices but you’re just looking out for her. You’re only young, you’re allowed to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. If she loses respect for you or thinks you’re lying, you’ll have to show her what I call “tough love.” You’ll have to remain calm and then just let her found out what her boyfriend is like for herself. As much as we care about people, we can’t tell them what to do even if we know it’s for their own good. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this, but that is why it is vital you’re honest with your friend.
I really hope things get sorted out and her boyfriend gets found out for what he really is. No boy has the right to treat girls like this, so I understand your worries about your friend. Losing a friend over a boy would be terrible, and you have to make sure she knows this. Even if she carries on dating him and ends up getting cheated on, be there for her. Girls need to stick together and be there for each other.
Good luck x
