The only way around dealing with trust issues is to just trust your special someone. When you have paranoia, this seems really scary because once you trust someone you’ve opened yourself up to vulnerability.

However, there are ways to help sooth your paranoia.

You’ve made a very good and mature choice to not spy on him, because that is a sign of really bad trust issues. It’s natural for any girl to worry about their boyfriend cheating but nobody talks about how to handle it. I really understand your concern here, but the best way forward from this is to trust your boyfriend. You definitely need to talk to him calmly and be honest about what hurts you but you have to TALK and not accuse.

I’ve noticed a lot of girls bottle up problems and then when it gets too much, they shout it out. Which just causes their boyfriend to ignore them. Guys don’t like confrontation, so you have to make sure when you’re talking to him about what upsets you, you do it very gently. Clearly saying that you’re scared will get him to notice this problem and to reassure you. It’s a serious problem too, so don’t feel like you’re needy. Your paranoia about him cheating shows you love him, and you need to make that clear to him too. 

Also, girls can be REALLY sneaky. Even if they don’t know you they’re still going to try to stir things up between relationships. Hanging out with an ex is suspicious, I think any girl would be curious about that. 

After getting reassurance from your boyfriend, you need to trust him. That doesn’t mean not ever worrying, it just means not waking up every day thinking that every girl he speaks to is someone he wants instead of you. This is also a confidence issue. You’ve been together for a year, he obviously wants you. You are pretty enough and good enough for him. Only low and pathetic people cheat, and you wouldn’t be with him if he was a man of no morals.

You have to start thinking positive, but that doesn’t mean ignoring your thoughts. There’s nothing wrong with thinking there’s a chance of him cheating, because that means if it does happen, you have closure and a step to help you get over him.

If he does cheat on you, it’s not the end of the world. It will hurt but it will also mean he wasn’t the one for you and the guy meant for you is out there.

I suffer from paranoia and even need medication for it, I find taking the situation and evaluating every possible outcome helps me a bit. It’s like creating a back up plan, just in case. Even if you don’t think you’ll need to use it.

I hope this helped, and I really hope things work out for you. Good luck x